Do You Battle With Your Weight, Struggle With Overeating and Fight Your Urges?
The words we use to describe our relationship with food, eating and our body size matter. Pretty much wherever you look in the media, we hear about battling, fighting and struggling with our weight, food, eating and bingeing.
Many of us use this language ourselves when talking about these difficulties. ‘I’m really struggling with my weight’, ‘it’s the battle of the bulge!’ ‘I’m fighting the urge to binge…’ and so on. Does that sound familiar?
I totally get why you ‘fight,’ ‘struggle’ and ‘battle’. You want something different for yourself and that’s perfectly valid.
But I do question the method of fighting, struggling and battling.
This is what I’ve learned: what we resist, persists.
Think about it.
Imagine two small children fighting in the playground. The one throws a punch, so the other one does. The one kicks, and the other kicks back. The one shoves, the other shoves back. On and on it goes until someone gives up.
When you struggle and fight with your eating behaviour, you’re doing the exact same thing. The hard part is that it’s a fight with yourself! And who can ‘win’ that?
Here is an example of fighting with yourself about food and eating…
You 1: Go on, eat it, you know you want it.
You 2: No! I shouldn’t have it. It’s fattening. That stuff is unhealthy. It’s bad for me! If I start now I’ll never stop.
You 1: But it’s delicious! Just imagine the taste! You know you’ll love it.
You 2: But I’ll feel bad afterwards!
And on it goes, till one of you gives up.
Here’s another example:
You 1: I feel sooooo bad now I ate all that food.
You 2: You see! I told you! You idiot! When will you listen? Now you have to be good. You have to fast. Nothing for you till tomorrow and only if you’ve been good!
You 1: But I’ll get hungry!
You 2: Too bad! You don’t deserve to eat. You have to pay for what you’ve done. Now go for a 10 mile run. And push it!
Who wins?
No-one.
What if, instead, you could accept your current relationship with food fully and completely?
Accept it like you accept your eye colour, or your height. Accept it like you accept the soil is brown, or the leaves on the tree are green.
It is this way at this time, so can you accept that this is so?
I fought and struggled, for decades with my eating behaviour, and it got me nowhere. When I eventually stopped the fight, stopped struggling and battling, I stopped fighting with myself.
Which meant I started to be kinder to myself.
It meant I started to listen to myself.
It meant I started to pay attention to what I needed.
Which meant I started to meet my non-physical-hunger needs with things other than food!
Because there was no fight, there was the possibility to cultivate curiosity about myself.
There was the possibility to develop a real and deep relationship with myself.
To get back to the fighting kids: what do we teach them when they’re fighting? To stop and listen to each other with respect!
When the fight stops, the listening can begin. The honouring can commence!
If this rings true for you, and you want to stop the fight with food and learn to listen, I’d love to be alongside you. Let’s talk.
Hi, I'm Vania.
I'm passionate about helping you break free from the exhausting cycle of yo-yo dieting, body shame, overeating, bingeing, and emotional eating.
For decades, I was at war with my body and food. It wasn't until I found an approach which didn't involve strict rules, diets and a focus on weight, that my relationship with food and my body transformed into one of ease and peace. There’s a lightness in living when food no longer holds power over your thoughts. If you're seeking that kind of freedom — where food becomes simple and life feels full — I’d love to walk that journey with you.
Work With Me Online Courses