burgers and carrot that fight

I’ve been hearing a lot from people lately about fighting, struggling and battling with their overeating and binging.

I totally get why you ‘fight,’ ‘struggle’ and ‘battle’. You want something different for yourself! And that’s a good thing!

But I do question the method of fighting, struggling and battling.

This is what I’ve learned: what we resist, persists.

Think about it.

Imagine 2 kids fighting. The one throws a punch, so the other one does. The one kicks, and the other kicks back. The one shoves, the other shoves back. On and on it goes till someone gives up (or a parent steps in!).

When you struggle and fight with your eating behaviour, you’re doing the same thing. The hard part is that it’s a fight with yourself! And who can ‘win’ that?

You 1: Go on, eat it, you know you want it

You 2: No! I shouldn’t have it. It’s fattening. That stuff is unhealthy. It’s bad for me! If I start now I’ll never stop.

You 1: But it’s delicious! Just imagine that lovely sweetness going down the back of your throat. You know you’ll love it.

You 2: But I’ll feel bad afterwards!

And on it goes, till one of you gives up.

Or this:

You 1: I feel sooooo bad now I’ve had it

You 2: You see! I told you! You idiot! You numb-skull! When will you listen! Now you have to be good. Now you have to fast. Nothing for you till tomorrow and only if you’ve been good!

You 1: But don’t do that to me! I’ll get hungry!

You 2: Tough titties! You must be punished. You have to pay for what you’ve done. Now go for a 10 mile run. And push it!

And on it goes, till one of you gives up.

Who wins?

No-one.

What if, instead, you could accept your current relationship with food fully and completely?

Accept it like you accept your eye colour, or your height. Accept it like you accept the soil is brown, or the leaves on the tree are green.

It is this way at this time, so can you accept that this is so?

I fought and struggled, for decades with my eating behaviour, and it got me nowhere. When I eventually stopped the fight, stopped struggling and battling, I stopped fighting with myself.

Which meant I started to be kinder to myself.

It meant I started to listen to myself.

It meant I started to pay attention to what I needed.

Which meant I started to meet my non-physical-hunger needs with things other than food!

Because there was no fight, there was the possibility to cultivate curiosity about myself.

There was the possibility to develop a real and deep relationship with myself.

To get back to the fighting kids: what do we teach them when they’re fighting?

To stop and listen to each other with respect!

When the fight stops, the listening can begin.

The honouring can commence!

If this rings true for you, and you want to stop the fight and learn to listen, I’d love to be alongside you. Let’s talk.

Need help from an expert?

If you’ve had enough of being on and off a diet, feeling ashamed of your body and how you eat, binge eating or emotional overeating — you’ve come to the right place.

I’ll help you discover how to let go of all the food rules, trust your own body and reclaim your innate worthiness — so you can live your life unapologetically and focus on what really matters to you.

  • Want to find out why my approach is different? Get my FREE Guide to Peaceful Eating.
  • Have questions about the way you are around food and your body? Ask me and I will answer you on my next live Q&A.
  • Looking for someone to coach you through all of this? Book a FREE Discovery Session with me.

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