Health Is Not a Personal Project: Unpacking the Myth of Control
It’s normal to want to feel well in your body.
To have energy. To move freely. To live a life not dictated by pain or illness.
The desire to be “healthy” is deeply human.
But somewhere along the way, that desire got tangled up in a cultural narrative that says:
“Your health is your responsibility – and if you don’t have it, you must have done something wrong.”
???? The Myth of Control
We’re taught to believe that if we just:
- Eat the right foods
- Move the right amount
- Meditate, hydrate, sleep 8 hours, avoid toxins
- Cut sugar, quit smoking, drink in moderation (if at all)
…then health will follow.
And if it doesn’t?
Well, then we must have missed something. Not tried hard enough. Made poor choices.
This narrative feels empowering – until it becomes oppressive.
????️ Health Is Not an Even Playing Field
We’re rarely told that:
Where you live – the air you breathe, the water you drink, the safety of your streets – affects your health.
Access to green spaces, fresh food, time, rest, and basic medical care – these are structural privileges, not just “choices”.
Chronic stress from poverty, discrimination, or unsafe housing is not just a mental strain – it’s a physiological burden.
This is why the wellness industry’s mantra of “just take care of yourself” rings hollow for so many.
You can’t yoga your way out of poor housing or food insecurity.
You can’t kale away a lack of affordable healthcare.
???? The Internalisation of an Ideology
This idea — that health is a moral responsibility and personal failure is to blame for illness – is deeply rooted in neoliberal ideology. It tells us:
“You are the manager of your body. Its success or failure is yours alone.”
It sounds like empowerment, but it’s actually a recipe for shame and isolation.
It erases the ways we’re interconnected. The truth is that we live in bodies shaped by systems – economic, political, social and environmental – not just willpower.
⚠️ And Even If You “Do Everything Right”…
…sometimes illness still comes.
The diagnosis, the injury, the slow unraveling of a body once taken for granted.
And when that happens, the myth of control can become cruel.
People blame themselves.
Others subtly blame them too.
- “Did you eat enough greens?”
- “Have you tried cutting out gluten?”
- “Maybe it’s stress?”
The implication is clear: If you’re unwell, you must not have done it right.
❤️ A More Honest and Compassionate View
What if we redefined health – not as a trophy to be earned through perfect habits, but as a dynamic relationship between body, environment, and community?
What if we acknowledged:
- That some factors are within our control and many are not.
- That wellness is not a personal achievement, but a collective responsibility.
- That a person’s worth is never dependent on how “healthy” they are.
We can care for our bodies without believing they are projects to perfect.
We can move, rest, nourish, and tend to ourselves – not to avoid illness at all costs, but to honour our needs and meet the moment with compassion.
???? From Control to Care
So yes, tend to your body.
But do it with gentleness, not moral pressure.
With awareness of your context, not shame over your choices.
And remember this, too: your body is not a machine to be maintained forever — it is a temporary home.
No amount of broccoli or breathwork will protect us from the truth that all bodies change, and all bodies eventually decline.
We are not here to outsmart mortality.
We’re here to live – fully, imperfectly, honestly – in the bodies we have, for as long as we get to have them.
Not everything is fixable.
Not everything is knowable.
There is a wildness and a mystery, to being alive and to being a body in a world that is constantly moving, shifting, becoming.
Health isn’t a guarantee.
It’s not even a destination.
It’s a moment-by-moment relationship.
With yourself.
With your environment.
With the unknown.
And when we soften our grip on control, we make space for something more enduring: care, connection, and compassion, even in the face of uncertainty.
Hi, I'm Vania.
I'm passionate about helping you break free from the exhausting cycle of yo-yo dieting, body shame, overeating, bingeing, and emotional eating.
For decades, I was at war with my body and food. It wasn't until I found an approach which didn't involve strict rules, diets and a focus on weight, that my relationship with food and my body transformed into one of ease and peace. There’s a lightness in living when food no longer holds power over your thoughts. If you're seeking that kind of freedom — where food becomes simple and life feels full — I’d love to walk that journey with you.
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