Vania Phitidis
Written by Vania Phitidis
Peaceful Eating Coach
Last updated on 2 July 2025
Reading time: 4 minutes

Have you ever felt stuck in a tug-of-war with your body? Part of you wishing for love and acceptance, another part overwhelmed by frustration or even hatred?

It’s a common experience to feel that loving your body fully is impossible, maybe even unrealistic. And that’s okay.

Because body love isn’t the only way forward. Sometimes the first step is simply to stop hating it.

Why Love Isn’t Always the Starting Point

We live in a culture that tells us love is the goal: love your body, adore your curves, celebrate your shape… But that message can feel like pressure, guilt, or even another demand to meet.

When hatred or discomfort runs deep, the idea of loving your body can seem out of reach, or even dishonest, and feel like yet another thing you’re failing at.

That’s why it’s important to make room for other possibilities.

Shifting from Appearance to Experience

A big part of the struggle is how much we focus on how our bodies look: judging shapes, sizes, and imperfections. This focus on appearance turns the body into an object to be examined, critiqued, and fixed. It feeds a cycle of comparison and disconnection.

What if, instead of looking at your body, you turned your attention in?

Being in your body means tuning into what it feels like to breathe, move, sense, and be alive.

Every moment you experience (like joy, pain, comfort, excitement) happens through your body.

It’s your constant companion, and your home.

What Does “Stop Hating” Even Mean?

Stopping hatred isn’t about suddenly feeling neutral or positive. It’s not about pretending you’re happy with everything. It’s about loosening the grip of harsh judgement and cruelty.

It might mean:

  • Not criticising yourself so harshly every day
  • Catching the negative self-talk and speaking back with kindness
  • Letting go of “shoulds” about how your body must look, feel or be able to do
  • Practising moments of curiosity rather than disgust
  • Finding small ways to care for your body, even when it feels hard

Resentment vs. Compassion

Sometimes the hatred comes from a place of deep resentment – maybe toward the body itself, or what it’s been through. That’s understandable.

You don’t have to rush to forgive or adore your body.

But you can begin to shift from resentment toward curiosity and compassion.

That might look like acknowledging the ways your body has survived, carried you, or held you up – even imperfectly.

Small Steps Count

You don’t have to flip a switch from hate to love overnight. You don’t have to write love letters to your thighs or celebrate every inch. You can start by simply reducing harm to yourself.

Maybe it’s:

  • Wearing clothes that feel comfortable rather than constricting
  • Allowing yourself to rest without guilt
  • Choosing foods that satisfy rather than punish
  • Breathing deeply when you notice self-criticism
  • Seeking support from others who understand

The Journey Is Nonlinear

Some days will be easier than others. Sometimes you might feel peace and other days you might feel frustration or sadness. That’s part of the process. Stopping hatred opens up space for healing – but healing doesn’t mean perfection.

What If You Never Fully Love Your Body?

That’s okay too.

The goal isn’t perfection or a fairy-tale love story.

It’s peace.
It’s presence.
It’s freedom from the constant battle.

You can live a meaningful, joyful life… Even if your relationship with your body is complicated.

Final Thought

If you feel you can’t love your body right now, ask yourself:

Can I at least stop hating it?
Can I shift from objectifying my body to being in it — feeling it as my home and my experience?

That question can be a doorway to kindness, patience, and slowly building trust with yourself.

And trust me, that’s a very good place to start.

With love from Vania