What Happens When You Stop ‘Fixing’ Your Body

Written by Vania Phitidis
Peaceful Eating Coach
Last updated on 19 June 2025

For many of us, the project of fixing our bodies has taken up years – even decades – of our lives.

The diets.
The plans.
The apps.
The workouts.
The rules.
The shame.
The hope that this time, we’ll get it right.

So what happens when you stop?

What happens when you decide not to chase weight loss, body sculpting, or self-optimisation anymore?

What happens when you stop making your body a problem to solve?

Letting go of the “fixing” mindset is not a tidy or linear process. It’s layered. It’s often emotional.

And it’s full of paradox.

There May Be Grief

You might grieve the years spent trying to shrink or reshape yourself.
The time, energy, and joy lost.
The meals missed. The parties avoided. The swimming never done.
The clothes never worn. The photos never taken.

You might grieve the fantasy – the version of life you imagined you’d have if only your body had changed.

Letting go of fixing means letting go of a dream that was sold to you – a promise that you could earn belonging, confidence, or ease through your appearance.

And that grief is real.

There May Be Relief

For all the grief, there’s often a surprising relief too.

A quiet exhale.
An internal lightening.

No more spreadsheets.
No more weighing spinach or your self-worth.
No more apologising for your body’s shape, size, or appetite.

You start to taste freedom.

Freedom from being on constant alert.
Freedom from hunger masked as virtue.
Freedom from punishing routines that leave you drained and disconnected.

Your Identity Might Wobble

If you’ve built your sense of identity around being good – good at eating “clean,” good at following the plan, good at exercising every day – stopping can be destabilising.

Who am I if I’m not the one trying so hard?

You might feel unmoored without the rituals of tracking, controlling, or striving.
You might wonder what it means to care for yourself now, without those old rules.
You might bump up against parts of yourself you’ve been avoiding through all the effort.

This is part of the work – and the invitation.
You’re not giving up on yourself. You’re meeting yourself differently.

You Might Feel Fear

For many, body-fixing was a way to feel safe – or at least in control.

It offered the illusion that if you just tried hard enough, you could protect yourself from judgement, illness, rejection, loss.

So of course there’s fear when you stop.
Fear of getting “out of control.”
Fear of being rejected.
Fear that everything will fall apart.

This is where support and nuance matter.

Letting go of fixing isn’t about neglect.
It’s about moving from control to connection.
From fear to attunement.
From self-improvement to self-trust.

Pain Might Surface

For some, especially those with a history of trauma, the drive to control or fix the body has been more than just about appearance – it’s been a survival strategy.

Controlling food, shape, or weight has sometimes provided a focus, a buffer, a way to numb or avoid pain that felt unbearable or unsafe to feel.

So when that control starts to loosen, the feelings that were once buried may begin to rise.

Old memories. Long-held grief. Shame. Loneliness. Fear.
Things that were tucked away – perhaps because there was no space, no support, or it simply wasn’t safe to feel them at the time.

This can be disorienting. It can be deeply painful.
But it is also a doorway.

Not because pain is noble, but because this might be the moment, finally, where what was once too much can be witnessed, felt, integrated.
Where healing that’s long been waiting in the wings is now ready to be done, with the right care, and the right support.

This is not a call to rush in.
It’s a gentle invitation to honour what surfaces, at a pace that honours your nervous system, your history, and your capacity.

And Then… There’s Space

When you’re no longer obsessed with fixing your body, something strange and beautiful begins to happen.

You get your life back.

You start noticing what actually brings you pleasure, or rest, or energy.
You might discover what you like to eat — not what you “should” eat.
You might move your body in ways that feel nourishing, instead of punishing.
You might be more present with people you love.
You might finally look up and see yourself, not as a project, but as a person.

Your world gets bigger when your body stops being the main thing you’re trying to manage.

Letting Go Is Just the Beginning

Deciding to stop fixing your body isn’t the final step. It’s the doorway to deeper work.

To meet your needs.
To explore your values.
To tend to your emotions.
To reimagine care.
To come back into a relationship with your body, not as an object, but as home.

It’s not easy. But it is possible.

And it doesn’t mean giving up — it means growing up.

Growing into something more honest. More sustainable. More alive.

Final Thought

If you’re feeling a mix of grief, fear, and relief as you start to loosen your grip on body control – that makes sense.
If old pain is starting to rise as the distractions fall away, that makes sense too.
This is not about flipping a switch. It’s about unwinding from a lifetime of messaging that told you your body was never enough, and perhaps, from pain that never had space to be seen.

You are not a before-and-after photo.
You are not a problem to be fixed.
You are a whole person — deserving of care, presence, and peace, right now.